You may have read in the main article, get started to know your ‘cherry monsters’ in life. So you have already understood that why let’s get started to ’say no to’ from the next request. Because this is one of the monsters you may often meet in your life. As in the example of the article, we talked about CM3, he is kind and helpful. But there were many miscellaneous things from surrounding people and caused him to do. In fact, this habit will ruin yourself by the time when there are many miscellaneous requested from others and you have no time to do your job and what you want in the future, or maybe what you do just for the others’ but not your dream. So you have to understand that clearer and try to get rid of this habit. Let’s get started to ‘say no to’ from the next request.
Make a Discipline to Dare Yourself to Step out of This
If you’re currently in the same situation as CM3, you have to commit yourself to determine that you MUST ’say no to’ the next request immediately. Without consideration about anything else besides you’re now in try to change your habit and try to use the word ’no’ say to the other people you have said ‘yes’ already not all the time but you always said and agreed to do those mess things for them not for your dream. It’s just be braved up yourself and dare to do all for this for your first. Then how bad the result may be caused by saying ‘no’ to, you no need to think about that at this time. Because it’s the only discipline to make yourself a “bravo” to step out your first step from this nightmare.
This is the only way to free yourself out of the box first, rather than think yourself stuck in it. Now, you can imagine your day, when those miscellaneous things were away, and how exciting you have more time to think about yourself, accomplish your own tasks, and plan for your life. Or, it means everything is about for yourself and your dream.
It Might Cause an Extreme Effect
Now, you’re outside of the box. So, let’s look back on what will happen in the box. Is it worse as to what you have imagined as before you decided to step out or not? For instance, we can stand at CM3 viewpoint to see what he had imagined about that previously.
He is that kind of person, you may be in this kind of situation or one of your friends is like that, CM3 always care about the feeling of others, and always help others, especially, they are hard to reject every request from friends or people they know. So, it may cause them a habit of difficult to ‘say no to’ other people as follows.
If I reject doing this for my boss, I may face some difficulty to work what he in the job next.If I reject to do that for my colleagues, they may gossip me for any of my mistakes. If I reject to do something as per requested from friends, I may lose the maintaining relationship with them.
To all the above concerns that all of the people who might be thought they will be faced more impact on them. However, what I have experienced years ago with the people who have tried this successfully to reject and most of the conclusion for the most common case as follows.
He (CM3) is really good at using a computer for office work like Microsoft Office and the English language especially in writing a business email. So one of his colleagues always asked him for help check and to do that most of the time of his daily job. Because the superior of his colleague is a very strict person especially on accomplishing every task for the company and target growth. And, the other colleagues also ask him to do another thing as what I have raised in the main article already.
One day, (CM3) he reconsiders how bad the effect to him that, “if I refuse to help him, he will be unhappy and he may talk bad about me to others.” “He may report bad about me to boss because he hates me of refusing his request.” And, “I can’t make friends, but an enemy.” In contrast, to himself, if he didn’t involve in others’ task, he would be “I will have enough time to focus on my current tasks and achieve it more effectively.” “It might be other colleagues dare not to ask him to do other things if I can refuse him and as a good example to show others about that.” “I can save more time to do what I want to do, especially at the weekend.” “I do not force myself just sitting down at a place to do other people’s tasks on the weekend, and I can have more time to read my favorite books or meet someone I like.” And, of course, you also can catch up on your way to your dream.
By looking at the differently contrasted effect that CM3 has considered above, you might think that nothing worse or very bad can be affected to him if you really want to ’say no to’ his colleague about this. Actually, what he has assumed in the first parts might not happen and it’s not really as worse as he imagined. However, in the contrast part he has thought about himself, which are the critical things he has to obtain for himself consequently as he can refuse or ’say no to’ from the next request.
In fact, there was the way of his thought. And, the people also are in common about that for the two minds or two thoughts toward a single thing. It might be worse or best, but it’s better to consider what’s really means to you. Obviously, the second mind of CM3 was shown that he has to do ’say no to’ for miscellaneous tasks in front of him, and get started to discover the real energy to fulfill himself instead.
Just Consider this “Which Choice is the Most Benefit to You?”
After the reconsideration of CM3 above, we can find out that clue for help to all people who are hard to ’say no to’. It caused you to consume more your energy and time on doing the irrelevant tasks, and make them an irregular routine. Thus, we can raise this question to reconsider, “which choice is the most benefit to you?” before saying yes or ’say no to’ others. For instance, the above two minds have described concisely about what will be happened after our decision toward how we ’say no to’. And we can understand that at least the very very bad or worse thing was not as what we have thought so.
Therefore, let’s get started to ’say no to’ from the next request. If you still dare not to say it out, when you get the next request from others you may consider this question very firstly, “which choice is the most benefit to you?” Or, keep in mind that, “how most it’s worst?” And, the worst is not so bad as what you imagine as what the example case above did. Then we can list down those effects as what CM3 has done previously to compare or analyze how worst it is? Or, you can make your good decision to which the most benefit to you. To do so, it’s quite easy for you to figure out how to refuse others. And you dare to ’say no to’ from now on.